Reality Overdose’s Review

Reality Overdose by Seo.Tai.Mi [Sung.ii.ee]
http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/Overdose/
Reviewed by m_girl07 @ Crepuscular Tears

Title: 4/5

-The title is very creative and it’s something that I’ve never seen before!=) I get how it relates to your story because she’s an angel and for her, reality is not something that she’s used to but the last line kind of threw me off; so even though she had seizures, she wasn’t suffering from epilepsy but an overdose of reality?

Poster/Background: 10/10

-Love the graphics^^! The mood of the poster is perfect for the story and the colouring kind of gives it that dark and mysterious feeling; which is perfect because Abby isn’t what Young Saeng thinks.

Forewords: 10/10

-Your forewords are so organized and neat! It described each character and gave readers an insight to the plot because of your philosophy. It really is interesting and did you really think of that all by yourself? *amazed*

Plot: 14/15

-For the most part, your plot was very organized and constant. You developed their relationship and led to a climax. You had a few surprises and many beautiful moments too^^.

Creativity/Originality: 9/10

-I’ve seen a few about angels and the supernatural but yours had something different. Your philosophy was very refreshing and even made sense! I’ve read some where it just didn’t make sense but yours made perfect sense^^!

Flow: 8/10
-Like I said before, it was very organized but there were some parts that were a bit random; like in chapter 1:

“He was right – she’s really pretty.”

-He says that after meeting her for the first time and how could he be right when he never thought about it, lol? Sorry if that was a little too harsh…=(

-I loved how the two of them fell for each other by working together but I thought he was supposed to be hurt by his past so how come when she bumps into him the first time, he’s so friendly?

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 9/10

-You had a few errors here and there but no one’s perfect! And you made up for it with your vocabulary anyways=p. I’ll just point out some of the little ones so you know^^:
“He didn’t care. Not as if he ever cared. He was listening to his favorite song, on the MP3 player.” (Chapter 1)

-You don’t have to separate the first two lines with a period because they’re the same idea; a comma or semi-colon is better.

“A secretary. I can’t apply for something else. You?” (Chapter 1)

-I think it was a typo but something = anything?

“Heh? Oh, thanks… But… I don’t get it, why do you do this?” (Chapter 1)

-Since he already did it, it’s past tense; ‘do’ should be ‘did’.

“It’s no angel implied in this!” (Chapter 2)

-Huh?
-I hope that wasn’t too much but those are the main things=). I didn’t get any more examples because I was too engrossed in your story after chapter two=D.

Characterization: 9/10

-You can sense what each of the character’s personalities are like and it didn’t change too much throughout the story. It’s just what I mentioned before about Young Saeng and him being cold but nice on their first encounter.

Writing Style: 10/10

-Your writing style is nice! There isn’t too much dialogue and you balance it with detail. I love how you described the wedding dress; while reading it, I pictured it perfectly in my mind=D! Here’s a line that I absolutely loved!

“A series of severe palpitations shot across her human flesh, revealing an extremely adorable blush.” (Chapter 1)

Overall Enjoyment: 5/5

-It made me laugh, it made me cry…I loved it! I started the other night but it got late so I had to stop but I continued this morning and couldn’t stop! (The part with the ice cream melting cracked me up! XD)

Bonus: 4/5

-For making me shed tears; but then again, I cry for anything-_-“

Total: 92/100

Reviewer’s Note: Sorry if I was a little harsh but I’m only trying to help you become a better writer; but really, you already are=p. I can see why you’re a fellow reviewer. Keep writing and just look out for the little things I mentioned!^^